A Better Us: Recovering from Infidelity

Infidelity is a profound breach of trust that can leave lasting scars on a relationship. However, amidst the devastation, there exists a journey of recovery—a path illuminated by insights from psychological research and studies on relationship dynamics.

Acknowledging Emotional Distress

Research conducted by Dr. Shirley Glass, a renowned psychologist and author, emphasizes the intense emotional turmoil experienced by both partners in the wake of infidelity. According to her findings, feelings of betrayal, anger, sadness, and confusion are common reactions to the discovery of infidelity. Glass underscores the importance of acknowledging and expressing these emotions openly, as suppressing them can hinder the healing process.

Seeking Professional Support

Studies have shown that seeking professional support is instrumental in navigating the complexities of recovering from infidelity. Couples therapy, in particular, has been found to facilitate open communication, promote understanding, and foster healing. Work by Dr. Kristina Coop Gordon and Dr. Donald H. Baucom highlights the efficacy of couples therapy in rebuilding trust and intimacy after infidelity. Their findings emphasize the significance of a neutral third party in guiding couples through the healing process.

Rebuilding Trust Through Transparency

Transparency and honesty are essential components of rebuilding trust after infidelity. Dr. Esther Perel, a renowned psychotherapist and author, emphasizes the importance of transparency in restoring a sense of security within the relationship. She suggests that couples who engage in open and honest communication are more likely to rebuild trust and intimacy over time.

The Role of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a complex and multifaceted aspect of the healing process. Work by Dr. Everett L. Worthington Jr., a clinical psychologist and forgiveness researcher, highlight the transformative power of forgiveness in promoting emotional healing and well-being. However, forgiveness does not happen overnight; it is a journey that requires time, effort, and commitment from both partners.

Reconnecting Through Emotional Intimacy

Reconnecting with one another after infidelity involves re-establishing emotional intimacy and closeness. Dr. John Gottman, a leading researcher in the field of marital therapy, emphasizes the importance of small gestures of affection and empathy in rebuilding the emotional bond between partners. His approach to couples therapy highlights the significance of shared experiences and moments of vulnerability in fostering connection and rekindling love.

Moving Forward Together

As couples embark on the journey of healing from infidelity, it is essential to approach the process with patience, resilience, and compassion. Dr. Janis Abrahms Spring, a clinical psychologist and author, emphasizes the importance of mutual commitment and dedication to growth in overcoming the challenges of infidelity. Her work suggests the transformative potential of adversity in strengthening relationships and fostering personal growth.


Recovering from infidelity is a complex and challenging journey that requires courage, patience, and unwavering commitment from both partners. Despite that, it is indeed a possible task. If you are ready to begin your healing journey with your partner, consider scheduling a free 15-minute consultation with me to see if I am the right couples therapist for you.